


You are the step

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 1980s, Back in the USSR, Cold War, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, End of Days, F/M, Going buck wild, Inaccurate Catholicism, Incest, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rough Sex, Skywalker Family Drama, Slow Burn, Soviet Union, Virgin Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-17 21:11:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15470142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dear heart, where do you findthe courage to seek the Belovedwhen you know She has annihilatedso many like you before?I do not care, said my heart,my only wish is to becomeOne with the BelovedWith Snoke dead, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has the Soviet Empire at his feet and the Resistance on its knees. But the Force is stronger.





	1. the courage to seek

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [go i know not whither and fetch i know not what](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481504) by [voicedimplosives](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voicedimplosives/pseuds/voicedimplosives). 



_I’ve gone back and changed a number of things since I started posting this, including the tags and warnings. Please note noncon ahead although not for a while yet. My first fic and figuring it out as I go! Thanks for reading. Kudos are life._

_In this sequel AU, set after the events of TLJ, the Resistance is the West and First Order is the Soviet Union. The year is 1980. Rey has grown up in Afghanistan_ _. Ben has defected to the First Order, and is known as Kyril Ren. Snoke is General Secretary of the Communist Party. The USSR is as ascendant as China is today, and far more threatening militarily. Darth Vader was a Himmler-esque Nazi war criminal. Alderaan = Czechoslovakia. The Force is real._

* * *

 “With respect, General, I’m not sure that I’m really the best person for this,” Rey’s stomach soured at the thought of sitting down for polite conversation with the First Order.

“Think of it as a continuation of your training,” Leah replied. “I want you to understand this world that you’re now such an important part of. Plus you scare the pants off of them,” she chuckled.

“You know that I didn’t really kill Snoke...” Rey was uneasy with the glory heaped on her since Snoke's death. From Rey’s vantage point, when Snoke died, Ben died, too. Her effort to save him had been a crushing mistake.

“Actually, I’m not sure that I agree with that statement,” Leah smirked, “but you’re changing the subject. I think that you should do this, but it is your decision. Just let me know by tomorrow morning one way or the other so that we can prepare. Remember - he won’t be there.”

They both knew who she was talking about. “Of course, General. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Despite her misgivings, it didn’t really take much time for Rey to make up her mind. All she had to do was recall Luke’s look of fear when she had offered him his lightsaber - not once, but twice. As Kyril had implied, her life would probably pour out like her parents' had: abrupt, senseless, and quickly forgotten. But she wouldn’t live it in fear. She told the General first thing in the morning.

“I knew I could count on you,” the older woman smiled. Rey was a sucker for her praise. “Now, I have some homework for you. You’re going to be fully prepped to shine here, Rey. Someday soon, I’ll be joining Luke and Han -”

“General, no.”

“Rey, you’re always one to face the facts,” the General continued. “So let’s face them together. I won’t be here forever. It’s no secret that you are the Resistance’s best asset: not just for your gifts, but because of your heart. I have to tell you, it brings me hope to see you stepping up to the plate like this. You have something that Luke, Han, and I never did.”

“General, I could never -” Rey stammered.

“You haven no idea what you’re capable of. Your story is just beginning.”

At a loss, Rey let herself be enveloped by Leah’s embrace.

“So - let’s talk about prep.”

As it turned out, Leah had an enormous stack of books, memos, and articles for Rey to digest before their trip. Not a reader, Rey was surprised by how the vast, tragic complexity of the Republic and Empire seized her interest. She had grown up scraping a life out of the high desert between the Hindu Kush and the Koh-i-Baba mountains. Sheltered in the ruins of an ancient cliff city, where massive, unseeing titans of a lost civilization loomed from the sandstone, even Kabul was a universe away. Politics and history of the wider world had been barely a rumor: once there was a great war and a terrible evil threatened the earth. But then a noble race of of knights called the Jedi had saved us. And now, there was a new war, similar to the old, between the First Order and the Resistance, which was why fancy guns and soldiers speaking Russian were flooding the markets and amplifying old grievances.

Learning more about the world in the past century made Ben’s choices even harder to understand. Who would venerate Darth Vader, the architect of so much horror? What would motivate someone to abandon a life of privilege to serve a stagnant and genocidal regime? Rey knew that Luke had once threatened Ben in a moment of confusion - but even that terrible mistake wouldn’t explain why Ben had gone so far to the other side. There must be more to it.

 _Or maybe there isn’t_ , she reminded herself. _Maybe he’s just evil. What in his behavior would lead you to think differently?_

Rey pushed the debate out of her mind. She’d already talked herself in circles too many times. Ben’s motivations didn’t matter anymore anyway. He had made his choice: not once or twice, but again and again for years. Nothing would change him now. And yet, Rey couldn't stop hoping that she would.

* * *

Two weeks later, Rey’s eyes were glued to snow-frosted mountains and bright blue lakes below her airplane window. They were descending into Switzerland, one of the last neutral territories in this hopeless war. After landing, a sleekly appointed off-road truck drove them up and up the rugged green hillside to an imposing half-timbered chalet with a flared mansard roof and cone-capped turret that was stacked four stories high atop a ridge. Snowy peaks jutted into the sky from every direction. The First Order had converted the residence into a state-run retreat.

Rey had never experienced anything like the luxury of her quarters. She had not two, but three spacious rooms all to herself. She recognized that the third chamber was a toilet, but it was completely unlike the haphazard shacks of Afghanistan with or the narrow, smelly stalls at the Resistance base in Stuttgart. It was vast, clad in cool marble, and there was an enormous basin below a pair of windows that looked out onto the mountains.

“Cecil?” He was unpacking Leah’s things in the adjoining suite. “The big bowl in my bathroom - is that for laundry?”

“Why Mistress Rey, that is a tub. You sit in the water and wash yourself. May I run a bath for you while you get situated? The reception is not for another few hours.”

Rey indulged in the first hot bath of her life, and let her mind drift back to Lubyanka, the KGB headquarters where she and Kyril had confronted Snoke.  

> _“You don’t have to do this,” she said softly. “I feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart. Ben -” he glanced at her. She moved closer, almost feeling the warmth of his body in the cold Moscow morning: “When we touched hands, I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You’ll turn. I’ll help you. I saw it.”_
> 
> _He pulled the car_ _over and then slowly, chastely, she leaned into him, nearly touching her lips to his. Heat blossomed in her chest and flowed over her shoulders, knees, and scalp. A dizzy fever looped from her sex through her skull._
> 
> _“I saw something too,” he murmured. “Because of what I saw I know that when the moment comes you’ll be the one to turn.”_
> 
> _She pulled back as though she had been scalded. His eyes narrowed. “You’ll stand with me. Rey, I saw who your parents are.”_
> 
> _Then they were driving again, arriving almost instantly at a large office building with too many windows and the sallow hue of boiled egg yolks._ _A cadaverous figure awaited them._
> 
> _“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice. My faith in you is restored. Young Rey. Welcome.”_

Shuddering, Rey drained the tub and pulled a thick white towel around herself.

* * *

Dressed for dinner, Cecil, Leah’s longtime personal secretary, tapped on Rey’s door to present her with a glass of fizzy golden liquid: “Her Majesty suggested that this occasion might warrant a special treat.”

“What is it?”

“It’s called champagne, my lady, provided to Her Majesty's room as a gesture of hospitality. It is the fermented juice of a grape grown only in a few special acres of France, usually imbibed at festive occasions. It’s become quite rare in the war.”

Rey couldn’t help but quirk a smile. “Isn’t celebration a little premature?”

“There is no such thing as premature in this life, Rey,” Leah emerged from the next room. “Savor while you can. Besides, I’m guessing that this is your first visit to the Alps. And that certainly deserves a toast.”

Rey took a small sip. It was astonishingly good - like the "birthday" Coca-Cola that she had allowed herself once each year to mark the passage of time. She and Leah finished the bottle while taking in the clear air and vistas from the grounds of their hotel.

“I have to say, this place is nicer than I expected,” Rey observed. She did not give voice to the thought that had been nagging her since they arrived at the hotel.  _Every day could have been like this, and many times more than this, if I had joined him._

Leah chuckled: “The world is full of nice things for those with the talents and will to acquire them. My son has scooped up a great many. How generous of him to give us a taste.”

"I don’t think I’ve ever had booze before, but I can see the appeal,” Rey laughed. The wine warmed her in the chilly, golden afternoon. Everything seemed sad and lovely at the same time. “You know, my parents were alcoholics. Or drug addicts. Something like that. They sold me to a Hazara warlord to pay for their habit. Died out there in Afghanistan. God knows where or how.

“Kyril was the one who told me who they were. He did it just to wound me,” Rey continued. She knew she was rambling but the wine had loosened her tongue. She still hadn’t talked to anyone about Ben. “I had thought he cared for me. I don’t know how I could have been so foolish.”

“In a better universe I would have had the privilege of raising you, Rey. You remind me so much of myself - on my good days that is,” she squeezed Rey's hand.

“But there is no better universe,” Rey returned. “And your son wants to destroy the one we have, while my parents didn’t even have the decency to leave me on a church doorstep. It seems like everyone who isn’t dying is killing someone else.”

Leah turned to face Rey. To her surprise, the older woman had tears in her eyes. “Do you know what I always told my troops?” Rey shook her head. “If you only believe in the sun when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night.”

“I wanted so badly to believe in them - my parents, your son, your brother.”

“Mirages are the desert's birthright, my child, but your destiny is something altogether different.”

Before Rey could formulate a response, Cecil emerged to usher them to dinner.


	2. I have no peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think that Kylo wasn't going to show up? Of course you didn't. Here's what gets him off the dime.
> 
> From Kylo's POV - I am going to try to alternate between him and Rey from chapter to chapter. 
> 
> CW for non-con voyeurism and revenge sex fantasies.

Kyril had not been planning to attend the talks, even when he was informed that Rey would be there. She had been a contemptible mistake, the nadir of his own gullibility and weakness. Where he thought he had found an equal, an open heart even, she had been nothing but a beautifully wrapped decoy, contaminated to the core with his parents’ selfish lies and Snoke’s vile manipulation. It made him sick to think about how he had prostrated himself for her ignorant scorn. The day that he would see her again was the day when he would bring her to her knees, begging for a mercy that she didn’t deserve and wouldn’t receive.

That had been his plan anyway, but as the summit drew closer, Ben's views began to evolve: this meeting was far too strategic for him to not at least _observe_ the proceedings. He arranged for surveillance to be delivered to him while he stayed in a nearby compound. And that’s how he ended up sitting in a fluorescent lit room thumbing through grainy, black and white photos of Rey undressing while he listened back to a tape of her warm, passionate voice arguing for open borders or some nonsense.

He hadn’t meant to spy on her this way, but once he’d opened the sealed envelope, he couldn’t stop. It was a clear violation of her privacy, which he relished. Unzipping her dress. Taking off her heels. Pulling her slip over her head. All without knowing that her every move was open to him. She would be so embarrassed and angry. Well, too bad. He flipped to the next picture; his cock stiffened.

God she was enticing. He hated it. Bitter lust flooded his veins as he drank in the angular lines of her shoulders, her graceful neck, and the soft concavity of her hips. Her downcast eyes were pensive and unsuspecting. A strand of hair curved around her jaw. She should be waking up naked in his chambers every morning, drawing back the curtains to let the sun play over her sweet dark nipples. He wanted to stretch her panties over her full round ass and sink his teeth into her.

Kyril growled. She was probably fucking some swaggering pilot back on base. But she couldn’t stop him from jerking off to her. He unzipped his trousers and let his cock spring free. He smeared the bead of precum around his tip, imagining her underneath him, helpless like she'd been when he interrogated her. He ran his finger over her arched torso in the photo, picturing her muscles tightened with passion under his fingertips.

His skin felt hot. Blood rushed to his cock. He wanted the salt of her on his mouth, licking under her breast. She would beg him to stop, but her pussy would be soaked. “You’re a liar,” he would tell her. “Look at me.”

And she would look at him while he touched her soft, hot core, shaking her head while biting her plump lips to restrain her cries of pleasure. But she would moan when he shoved his fingers inside her, and then she would beg for his forgiveness. “I’m sorry,” she would gasp. “Please, Kyril, please forgive me.”

He looked down at the picture again. She would want him so much. Her soft, peaked tits would jiggle and shake as she came around his hand again and again. He wouldn't forgive her. He would use her for his pleasure. He imagined pushing himself against her plush thighs. She would rub her cunt against him, begging him to stick his cock into her rosy entrance. It would be puffy and glistening with lust. It would suck him in, craving his cock. 

God she would be such. A little. Slut for him.

Kyril ground his teeth as he hammered himself through a climax.

He wiped the cooling cum from his stomach with disgust. Why was he humiliating himself, spying on her from the shadows and fantasizing about her like he couldn't have her? She had no right to deny him. International diplomatic protocol be damned, he would make Rey recognize where she belonged.


	3. The same wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one knows that Ben Solo is Kyril Ren except for Leah and Rey.

Rey was taking notes on the Chinese representative’s rather rambling presentation when she felt it like a jolt of lightning. Her eyes immediately met Leah’s.

“We were not apprised that Supreme Leader Ren would be attending these talks. Please explain immediately.”

Before the bewildered First Order representatives could respond, the double doors to the conference room swung open. Two Knights of Ren in their ridiculous black cloaks bowed in unison: “Announcing the arrival of General Secretary Ren.”

The world slowed down as Kyril’s gigantic form swung through the doors. Leah put a hand on Rey’s wrist to calm her. Rey simply glared at the intruder. Kyril’s presence meant danger.

 _Why are you here?,_ she wondered.

To Rey’s surprise and irritation, Kyril’s coolly taunting baritone echoed in her head:  _Miss me, sweetheart?_

She scowled: that wasn’t worthy of a response - even if she had one. The Supreme Leader spoke up, audibly this time: “Forgive me for interrupting your remarks Comrade Li. Do continue.”

The bespectacled bureaucrat cleared his throat and haltingingly resumed his oration. Behind Kyril’s helmet, his countenance was unreadable, but Rey felt his unshifting gaze on her nonetheless. She tried to subtly test the atmosphere of his thoughts, as she did with everyone else in the room, but his were as hard and opaque as his mask. She struggled to enclose her own unruly mind. Comrade Li was not helping much with this dry and pointless exposition of agricultural planning.

Rey was so concerned with maintaining her own composure that she failed to notice Leah's growing pallor. As they stood for a mid-morning break, Rey was surprised to feel the General’s small hand seizing her shoulder for balance.

“General?” Rey whispered in soft shock.

“I think - I think I stood up too fast,” Leah slurred, white with pain and eyes unfocused. Rey was just fast enough to catch her before she fell into a faint.

“I need a doctor!” Rey squeaked. From the corner of her eye, she saw Kyril rush around the table.

“You!" she screamed. "You did this! To your own mother!”

The room froze in shock.

“What? No, Rey. I would never.”

“Liar!” Rey sobbed.

“Bring an ambulance here. Now. I command it,” Kyril staggered towards the unconscious woman.

“Stay  _away_ from her!” With a gesture, Rey knocked Kyril back into the wall, drawing gasps from the surrounding diplomats.

“You don't deserve to live,” she hissed, igniting her lightsaber.

“Rey - wait,” Kyril yanked off his mask, eliciting further reactions from the room. “Listen to me!” 

Just then a medical team rushed in. Ignoring the drawn saber, pinned emperor, and general chaos, they lifted the woman onto a stretcher. Rey shot one glance back towards Kyril before running out with the EMTs.

* * *

Late stage cancer was the diagnosis. They explained that it was related to Leah’s exposure to radiation in space and unlikely to be the result of the Supreme Leader’s malevolence. “All we can do now is make her as comfortable as we can,” the doctors said.

Rey went over the General’s warm words of the past few days. In retrospect, it was clear that Leah had known her time was limited. Rey denied the impulse to cry, to dwell on all the people whom she’d grown to love over the past year, just to have them taken away.

The press wasted no time broadcasting the scandal, but the First Order succeeded in keeping them away from the hospital. Kyril also steered clear for the first day. Rey knew she needed to apologize to him, but she didn’t know how. She ached to comfort him. He would never want that from her now.

Sitting outside Leah’s hospital room, she glanced down at a headline in one of the leading English-language journals: “Leah Organa hospitalized and Kyril Ren revealed to be Ben Solo: Tragic turn in Skywalker saga”

It was disorienting to see the whole ordeal in print. Rey noted with irritation that she was described as a “young agent in the Skywalker inner circle, reported to have prodigious Force capabilities. Adding to the puzzle,” the story went on, “sources present say that the Jedi seemed to be on a first name basis with Supreme Leader Ren.”

But what really drew her attention was further down the page:

> “Ben Solo had been believed missing since the notorious 1975 Temple Massacre, in which members of the mystical ‘Jedi Order’ were killed or vanished in a series of events that remain unclear. Led by Leah Organa’s brother Luke Skywalker, a war hero turned charismatic priest figure, the Jedi Order captivated Hollywood celebrities, rock stars, and seekers of all stripes in the late 60s and early 70s with a reputation for boundary-pushing sexual and psychedelic exploration.
> 
> “A few months prior to the Temple Massacre, it had been revealed that Organa and Skywalker were the twin children of the Imperial war criminal Darth Vader (né Anakin Skywalker) and of Queen Amidala of Naboo, both deceased. The scandal rocked the nation and provoked Leah Organa’s resignation as Secretary of State.
> 
> “Leah Organa has long been a controversial figure, both celebrated and condemned for her signature _realpolitik_ approach to projecting Resistance power in non-aligned nations, which sometimes included funding and arming despotic regimes with demonstrated records of human rights abuse.
> 
> “This new information yields the shocking conclusion that Kylo Ren killed his own father, Han Solo, in the Starkiller Base battle of last year. A businessman and high level Resistance operative, Han Solo was Leah Organa’s first husband from 1945 to 1961.
> 
> “The General is said to be in stable condition, but has not regained consciousness since her collapse. Medical experts deny that Organa’s condition is the result of poisoning or Force attack as was initially suspected, but many questions remain unanswered and the implications of this revelation and General Organa’s illness are only beginning to unfold.”

Rey set down the paper then grabbed another one. And another one. They all told the same story about the Skywalkers: prominent and divisive; a hippie guru to the stars and a cunning grande dame of geopolitics. Han Solo was mentioned only in passing, as a playboy "fixer" for multinationals and third world governments. Some of the articles were longer and some significantly less kind. The 1960s counterculture had never made so much as a ripple in Rey's part of Afghanistan, and she struggled to understand an old cover photo of Luke from fifteen years earlier, dressed in white and surrounded by a dozen smiling young women, with the caption: "Rock and roll guru opens up about 'pure light,' 'natural foods,' 'Force visions,' and 'love without attachment'." 

Even more confusing were the retrospectives about Leah. Rey rallied to the profiles of the General that noted her brilliance, courage, and tragic upbringing, but what was she to make of the others, the ones that linked her to war casualties in Vietnam, massacres in Bangladesh and Timor, and assassinations in Chile, Cyprus, and Washington, D.C.?

Rey knew the First Order was bad - she had read about it in the history books that the General had given her - but what was The Resistance?

The sun was starting to rise, and Rey drew a deep breath before standing to check on the sedated General. Just then, she felt Ben’s presence in the hospital. Fighting the urge to hide in shame, Rey stood up to greet her erstwhile enemy as he swept up to the landing.

“Ben?”

He passed by her into Leah’s room without a word. After a moment of hesitation, Rey followed. He was seated by the General’s bedside with one hand on his mother’s and the other over his eyes. Rey couldn’t help it; a tear slid down her cheek. It seemed like they never met without her becoming emotional.

“Leave us,” he said.

“Ben, please. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” She reached out to touch his head. He ducked as though she were a leper.

“Yes, Rey, you were. Now get out.”

Rey shuffled down the hospital hallway in a daze remembering Luke's warning: “This is not going to go the way you think.”

He was so right. Nothing had. Nothing in Rey's life had gone the way she hoped. No one was who she thought they were. Rey stopped, halfway down the stairs, and sat down, too stunned to move. She had nowhere to go. Where was home? Who were her people? What did she believe? Lines memorized in childhood whispered in her mind:

> The same wind that uproots trees  
> makes the grass shine.
> 
> The lordly wind loves the weakness  
> and the lowness of grasses.

Rey stood, turned and traced the only certainty she knew back to the hospital room. Ben was hunched over in silence. Rey knelt before him and let her tears fall on his knees.


	4. the garden of compassion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suggested soundtrack for this chapter - "Something" by Weval: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpdF0LpZTB8

 

Kyril wanted to push her away again, but he didn't have the strength. Rey was submitting to him at last, but it was not as he'd imagined, with her begging under his lightsaber or his body. Instead, she was crying softly onto his suit, while he his mother slipped into death on a hospital cot before his eyes. All he felt in his body was emptiness and fatigue. He pulled the girl into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his neck. It didn't quite seem real.

"I'm sorry, Ben."

He rubbed her back and drank in the weight and heat of her small form in his arms. He didn't know what to say. This wasn't her fault.

"You're here."

She nodded into his hair and wiggled closer to him. He stroked the back of her head. He wanted to run his tongue through her mouth, to push his hands under her shirt, to be buried in her clinging softness, but not now.

Mechanically, Kyril brushed Leah's hair back from her temple. Rey tried to get up to make it easier for him to reach, but he held her to his body.

He picked up a damp sponge and ran it over his mother's chapped lips. It was easier to be with her like this when she wasn’t speaking. And yet, how he wished that she would shake off the haze of sedatives and sickness, and he could make her tea, holding the paper cup to her mouth so that she could take tiny sips. Kyril felt the madness of grief swarming on the horizon, but for now, he floated just beneath it, in the nowhere land of hospital furniture and silent orderlies and Rey's warmth. How he wished that his mother would tell him something after all these years. 

Nothing but the hiss of the ventilator.

Kyril thought back through the events of the previous day. The countdown had begun. Hux had finally orchestrated an election in the Central Committee to remove him from office as both First Secretary and Chairman of the Council of Ministers. Kyril needed to act decisively or lose his grip and probably his life. There was no place for someone with his powers and past in private life.

At that moment, he could not find the rage or the will to fight. For so long, Kyril had been sure that some purpose was just about to reveal itself to him. Fleeing the orgiastic selfishness of his parents’ universe, he had sought it in the iron fairness of the First Order system. Of course, all he had found there was Snoke’s murder-by-bureaucracy.

Then he retraced his grandfather’s steps. Across the generations, Kyril felt a connection to the man who was too principled for the Republic or the Empire, and equally despised by both his master and by his family. Betrayed by the people he loved, Anakin had also done terrible things, things that forever cut him off from his past. But Vader was wrong too. Kyril's hero worship had been childish and grotesque.

"Your friends are coming," Kyril droned, after passing several minutes in silence.

"What do you mean?"

"All of those people whom my mother would rather see than me." There was no bitterness in his voice. He had been faintly surprised when the list Cecil had come up with had so few names that he recognized. All his parents' friends were dead now. The world he had grown up in was gone now. Dutifully, Kyril had provided the diplomatic immunity as requested. 

He looked at Rey's runny nose and pale, tear-streaked face. "Come on. You need sleep. Cecil and my Knights will stay with her for a few hours."

"I can sleep here. What if something happens?"

"It won't. I can sense it. You could, too, if you weren't so exhausted. Now let's go."

He pulled her to her feet and opened the door for her to follow. They walked to his car, a black Mercedes sedan, and drove. Rey didn't recognize the roads. "Where are we going?"

"To my hotel."


	5. lost in the Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo gets to first base and it exceeds expectations.

Rey was silent as they approached the medieval fortress. Poised on Lake Geneva, the First Order had rehabilitated the heavy stone compound and now used visits as a perk for high level bureaucrats. The hotel had been cleared of all visitors but his staff and Knights since he arrived in Switzerland a week ago. Kyril parked in his personal entrance and guided Rey up to his room. Once he got to his private wing of the complex, he did what he had been wanting to do since they left his mother’s bedside: he scooped her up, wrapped her legs around his waist, and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt so good like that, vulnerable, needy, and compliant. Desire shimmered through his limbs as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He needed a release. She would give it to him.

“You’re a good girl, Rey,” he grumbled into her ear.

“Kyril?” her voice was high and panicky. Even better.

“Shh, just relax.” 

He sat her on the bed, so that his knees were on the floor and his chest was between her thighs.

“You need a nap, Rey.” He stroked her hair. She was still in her work clothes from the meeting yesterday and she looked bedraggled. He pulled her heels off and let them drop to the floor, massaging her slender ankles, feeling his cock stiffen.

“Okay, I can undress myself,” she pushed at his chest and tried to scoot away, but he grabbed her hips to hold her still. Why was her little body so delicious? “Kyril, let go of me.”

“You feel good, sweetheart,” he pulled her against his chest and yanked her undershirt up from her skirt so that he could skate his palm up her back. Her skin was so soft over her brittle spine. He rubbed his cheek against her chest over her sweater. “You feel so good.”

“Ben, stop!” she commanded, tugging his head back by the hair until he met her eyes. “I told you to stop.”

He took her in. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing hard. She wanted him, but she was so easily frightened. And if she was scared, then she would fight him, and if she fought him, he would have to restrain her. And if he did that once, he’d have to do it every time. Kylo sighed and rocked back on his heels, folding his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he lied. “You’re right. Can I just kiss you?”

“You want to kiss me?”

Kylo swallowed. Why was she making him say it?

“You know I do,” his reply was husky. 

She smiled and brushed a strand of hair back from his face. Without meaning to, he leaned into her palm, his gaze locked on hers. Was she toying with him? This wasn’t the time. He wanted to fuck her into oblivion. Her eyes darkened. 

“Why do you want to kiss me, Ben?” her voice was breathy and she licked her lips.

A light switched in his head. This was turning her on and oh Christ if that didn’t make him hard too. He stroked her calf up to the top of her thigh and then down again, hiking her skirt up and taking in the scent of her.

“You’re perfect,” he rasped. “And you betrayed me. And I want to make you fucking mine.”

Shit, where did that come from? Well that was probably not what she wanted to hear. Except maybe it was because Rey was circling her legs around him and bringing him closer to her. And pulling his face to hers with both hands on his neck. 

He lunged forward, spilling her back onto the bed with his body as their mouths touched. It felt like everything was melting and everything was somehow better. Nothing mattered: not his mother’s terminal illness, or his shitty childhood, or the fact that people wanted to kill him, or the coup that Hux was staging right now. It was banished from his mind by warmth. Lots of warmth. Different waves of warmth around his body. 

Then all of a sudden, to Kyril’s horror, he felt himself cumming. Helpless to stop it, he crushed himself into her, shuddering with shame and pleasure. “Fuck. Oh goddamnit. God fucking damnit.”

He pulled away but she dragged him back into her.

“Ben, please,” she whined.

Her soft, wet mouth parted for him and he licked her tongue and then, holy shit, he felt a rush and oh my god it was good. It was very good. He hadn’t known that he could have that much sensation in his body. He hadn’t known that he was capable of feeling that much enjoyment. He was lost in her and stayed lost. He reached under her skirt and yanked her pantyhose down so that he could touch her smooth, firm ass and legs and hips. She pushed his shirt up and pressed her fingers to his torso. Any skin they could touch. When he opened his eyes he saw them surrounded by a sky full of stars and the stars were falling like fruit from a tree that is shaken by a strong wind. Looking at her, she was as warm and as happy as he was. Everything was perfect. All he knew at that moment was that it was the best feeling in the world and life couldn't get any better. 

Kyril wasn’t certain how long they stayed in that trance, kissing and laughing and holding each other: maybe fifteen minutes; maybe thirty. Gradually they came down.

“What did you do to me?” Kyril murmured drowsily as they lay facing each other.

Rey blushed. “Is it always like that?”

“What do you mean? Kissing? It is not ever like that.”

“I mean sex,” she laughed. He realized that he really liked the sound of her laugh and the way it made her whole face brighten up. 

“We didn’t have sex, Rey. I’m not sure what that was,” he smoothed her skirt over her hip. They were still mostly clothed, albeit rumpled. Kyril grinned. “But when I do fuck you, I promise you’ll know it. You’ve really never fooled around before?”

“God, no. I mean, I passed as a boy in Afghanistan. It would have been deadly for me to, like, flirt. Besides, waiting for my parents and just staying alive, I had never really thought that far ahead to children and family and things like that. Of course, I had also believed it was wrong to have relations outside of marriage, although I’m learning now that not all people see it that way.”

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Kyril blurted. He felt an inexplicable surge of tenderness for the child Rey had been and what she had endured. “Bamiya is a harsh place. I won’t ever let you suffer like that again.”

Rey beamed at him and kissed him on the nose. He pulled her against him, and tumbled into sleep.


End file.
